5 things I hate about It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

  1. This KDrama ruined my childhood. It ruined my idea of the life of a princess who lived happily ever after in every fairy tale
  2. This Kdrama is dark, it made me remember the dark alleys of my life instead of feeding my hopeless romantic side
  3. The actors are sooo good, they can play with your emotions so bad.
  4. The storytelling is too good I can’t stop wondering what will happen next which makes waiting for a new episode is so excruciating.
  5. The final episode made me ponder a lot of things and I don’t like it – but I need it.

I just finished watching the final episode of It’s Okay Not To Be Okay last night. It’s so annoyingly good that I hate it.

I went to bed with scenes running in my head. When I woke up this morning, I stared blankly at the ceiling and asked myself “what did I just watch last night?” The series got me. I had a hard time moving on not because of the characters but because of how the series played with my emotion. I wasn’t invested with the characters as much as I was invested with the characters of Reply 1988 but the characters made me ponder about my own life, my fear of opening doors that promises nothing but uncertainties, and the many times I lost the courage in pursuing true happiness.

By the end of the series, it’s no longer about the “and they lived happily ever after of Moon Gang-tae, Ko Moon-young and Moon Sang-tae” but it’s about how I am living my life right now. It’s Okay to Not Be Okay is not your typical problematic handsome guy meets a clumsy cute girl but it is a story of people who are on a journey in finding true happiness.

It’s Okay to Not be Okay is not a title but a life lesson that the series wants us to embrace.

It’s okay to have fears. Our fears have stories, embracing them will make us understand who we are.
It’s okay to accept that you make mistakes, growth happens when we accept that we commit mistakes and we can commit more mistakes in our lifetime.
It’s okay if you failed in the past, we are living in a world filled with imperfect people who have failed in one way or another. In accepting our failures, we become part of this imperfect world even more.
It’s okay to be part of an imperfect family. The beauty of #Adulting is that it gives us the power to make the right choices so we can transform history instead of “repeating history”
It’s okay to accept that you are seeking for love and attention. We are made for relationship and so we all have a longing to be loved, to be seen.
It’s okay to accept that some pains won’t go away. Some of them stay with us but we have a lifetime to create more good memories. In doing so, the pain will become more of a memory, like a scar that reminds us of a battle we’ve fought hard.
In acknowledging and accepting that we are not okay, we are taking big steps towards healing.

  • “Don’t let the past trap you… You can’t get out once you’re trapped in the past” – Gan Pil-ong to Moon Sang Tae, Episode 12
  • “You shouldn’t be embarrassed about being sad” – Moon Sang-tae to Ko Mun-yeong, Episode 13
  • “Adults can’t always be right. We make mistakes until the day we die” – Kang Seon-dook to Dr. Oh Ji-wang, Episode 14
  • “Remember it all (the painful memories) and overcome it. If you don’t overcome it, you’ll always be a kid whose soul never grows” – Moon Gang-tae, Episode 1
  • “The one who neglects and turns a blind eye to the abuse is worse than the abuser” – Ko Mun-yeong, Episode 13
  • “Don’t be stubborn when things don’t work. You need to learn to try other methods.” – Moon Sang-tae, Episode 16

These are some of the quotes that got me but the quote that lingers, making me hard to move on is the moral of the book that Ko Moon-young wrote,

“What the Shadow Witch had stolen from them was not their true faces but their courage to find true happiness.”

This quote wrecked me and I am not okay. This quote made me write this blog cause I am not okay and it’s okay.

I realized that no person nor circumstance can rob our joy unless we allow them. Joy is grace and since it is grace, it is always available for us. For years I’ve been debating with the cliché “happiness is a choice”. Cause happiness does not have a push-button, sometimes we will find ourselves in dark places, that forcing ourselves to “choose to be happy” can make us feel more depress cause we just can’t.

Some years ago, I kept on complaining to God, “Lord, can you please lead me to a life that I don’t need to choose to be happy? Can you lead me to a life that happiness will just come naturally? A life where I don’t need to make an effort to be happy?”

I complained almost every day for almost a year only to realize that I don’t need to “choose to be happy” what I only need is to be healed from the things that had happened in the past so I can see the beauty of my present. What I only need is to have the courage to accept that I am not okay, and it’s okay to be vulnerable. My vulnerability can leave more space for God to fill me with His love.

People and circumstances cannot take our joy but they can rob our ability and courage to find true happiness. Joy requires courage and a series of choices, coupled with a lot of God’s grace.

I don’t know what you are going through right now or what you went through in the past but I hope you will not lose the courage to find true happiness. I hope you will not let go of the hope that things will be better. One day you will get there. But if you are not okay today, it’s okay to not be okay!

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”

-St. Catherine of Siena

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