I am not a princess or at least I don’t want to be one.
I never desired to be a princess that every Disney fairytale insinuating me to desire. Disney Princesses’ clothes are too warm for our country. The idea of living in a castle is more of creepy than romantic. Our house has no place for prince charming’s carriage not even for his horse.
Yes. I am a realist ever since.
I never imagined myself wearing a ballgown, waiting for her prince charming who is riding a gallant stallion while waving his shining armour. The idea of Aurora, Snow White and Cinderella makes me cringe — no I cannot be that kind of woman. Helpless, dependent, incomplete without her knight in shining armour.
Yes, I am that woman. MISS INDEPENDENT
I was raised in a home where hard work and self-reliance are valued. I survived countless storms and miseries in life. I went through heartbreaks, disappointments and frustrations; enough to make me believe that I can survive with no one to depend on. I guess life’s challenges gave me two options; either allow myself to drown in misery or learn how to swim and survive from miseries.
I am not a Princess, cause I don’t want to be one
I dread the idea of being dependent, helpless, incapable and limited.
Yes, I am that woman.
When my father died, I wished I was in a fairytale where a Prince Charming will come and save me from life’s cruelty. But nobody came to save me, so I struggled my way out by myself ’cause no one understands my pain anyway.
When I was swooned by boys, I thought prince charming has come (every time), I thought he can fill the void and heal the wounds but prince charming is a by product of delusional fairytales. I was once a desolate woman, hoping a prince charming would save me but reality hit me; the boys who swept off my feet are no prince charming, not even close.
Fairytales happen in faraway land but not in the world I am living. In the real world, I don’t live in a castle. In the real world, there’s no prince charming who can save me from evil witches. In the real world, I am not a princess but a warrior, whose wounds are badges from battles well-fought.
In the real world, I am as vulnerable as the princesses in any Disney movies but I don’t believe in fairytales so I hid my vulnerabilities behind the fortresses I built. I built walls to protect myself from getting hurt, I built walls to protect myself from my own vulnerabilities.
I am not a princess because… I’m afraid to be one.
The idea of vulnerability scares me. The idea of being dependent to someone paralyzes me. Yes, I am afraid cause I know deep within me, I am weak and vulnerable. The real person behind the dominating and strong facade is a desolate woman who feels ugly, unvalued and unloved.
I am not a princess, because I stopped believing that I am one.
I have not fully understood what it means to be a princess until I have encountered a Carmelite Missionary Sister who told me, “you are not fulfilling the second commandment that Jesus told us. Love your neighbour AS YOURSELF. The kind of love you are giving to yourself is the kind of love you are capable to give to others. If you truly love God, you will love the person that He loves and that is YOU.”
I was stunned, my jaw dropped. How can she tell me that I don’t love myself? See, I am self reliant and independent. I am confident and driven. The list continues…
When I was about to open my mouth, attempting to deliver my rebuttal, she continued, “What are the things you love about yourself?” my mind froze. I could not think of any.
After deep contemplation, I realized that it is not that I don’t love myself, but I don’t believe that I am worthy to be loved.
My idea of a princess is someone who is vulnerable but of high value, worthy to be pursued by her knight in shining armour. My idea of a princess has limitations but loved by many. My idea of a princess is beautiful and charming.
A princess is every inch of a woman that I am not.
I am not a princess cause I don’t believe that I am.
What makes a woman a princess is not her perfect face, flawless skin nor her finesse but what makes a woman a princess is recognizing and loving the person God created her to be.
I am a princess, a daughter of a King, an heiress of the Creator of heaven and Earth. My Prince Charming did not fight for me with a sword but He carried a cross and died for me on top of a hill where He proclaimed His love for me.
I am a princess. My vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a detail of a beautiful mystery. I am a princess whose beauty and greatness are to be unveiled not through the walls I built but through the One who became vulnerable so He can show how worthy I am to be loved.
Yes, you are princess. Regardless of your size, colour of skin, the tone of your voice, rashness of your moves. You are every inch a princess. Accept that you are, believe that you are. Cause you are created as such, you are destined to be one.
You are every inch a princess.You don’t need to wait for your prince charming to come because He has already come but if tomorrow, someone will knock on your door to sweep off your feet, he must be a servant of your Prince Charming. You deserve to be pursued by someone who is from God, a man of God. You deserve God’s love, there is no love greater than that.
Do you believe that you are a princess? Start from loving the person you get to see in the mirror everyday and make a list of the things you love about yourself.
You are a princess, a daughter of a King who created Heaven and Earth and who said, “you are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you” – Isaiah 43:4
A Catholic Lay Missionary who travels the world to share her story with God. She believes that life in Christ is a beautiful adventure.