To the Woman Who Wants to be “Someone Else”

To the woman who wants to be someone else,

You are not alone. I feel you. Don’t  feel bad for wanting to be the person you are not. Stop being sorry for the envy you feel whenever the person you are following on Instagram makes you want to have the life that she has. 

I feel you. I’ve been there. I can guarantee that even if you will have “the life” you’ve been desiring to have, the desire to be someone else won’t go away. Cause you know what, you will always meet someone better than anyone you just met. Just like how Beyonce captured my attention after being so fascinated by JLo. And there’s a huge possibility that someone will take-over Beyonce in a few years. 

 The desire to be someone else won’t go away until you desire to be the woman you are meant to be. Unless you let go of the idea of the perfect life of this perfect person you desired to be, you can never find peace and fulfillment within you.  

When I was a little girl, I hated Camille Pratts. While my friends and cousins adore her, I despised her. While they were captivated by Princess Sarah, I feel like I can portray the role better than Camille Pratts. I was so sure that I am more beautiful and talented than her, the only advantage she has is that she lives in Metro Manila. Oozing with confidence, I declared that when I will get to Metro Manila, I will make it big. The world will discover me just like how Camille Pratts captivated my friends and family.  (Yes, I was that confident. I now wonder where did I get that confidence from lol) 

I had various dreams! At 9 years old when I was captivated by Readers Digest, I started dreaming to be a writer for the said magazine. At 10, I wanted to be a performer like the Spice Girls. Then Miriam Santiago’s grit and brilliance fascinated me, so I desired to be a senator. When I was a little girl, I strongly believed that I can be who I want to be. When I grow up, I will make it big. Someday, I will become great. The world was then perfect, it gave me so much confidence that  I am great and my destiny is greatness. 

I was so certain of who I am, what I am capable to do, and what I will become. I was so certain until life happened. Failures, defeats, unforeseen heartbreaking events, frustrations… The list is endless. As I walked through life and experienced all of these (and more) I came to realize that the world is not a world of make-believe. I cannot be who I want to be. Greatness is only for the chosen few, only the chosen few are destined for greatness. Unfortunately, I am not Camille Pratts, the “Princess Sarah”. 

For years, I feel like I am a speck of dust that fades away and the world will not even notice it. Then I started to entertain the IF-ONLY-trap… 

If only I am as beautiful…

If only I am as talented…

If only I am as patient and kind…

If only I am as perfect…

I forgot that I am innately great, a star meant to shine.

We are not created in this world to fade away unnoticed. God created us to be great and to make this world great. 

The world needs you 

Girl, the world needs you. When God created the world, He always ends His day amazed with what He created, He never misses to say “It is good”

He created the sun and stars and He said it is good. He made a dome that separates the earth from the sky and then He said, “It is good”. He created all kinds of plants and animals, then He said, “ It is good”. Then He created man and He said, “it is very good”  

In the series of “it is good”, He finally said, “it is not good…”

“It is not good for man to be alone I will make a suitable partner for him” so He created Eve, a woman. (Gen 2:18) 

God’s creation wouldn’t be complete without a woman. It is not that we are better than Adam but the world needs a woman as much it needs a man. 

We are destined for greatness

Marie Curie, Florence Nightingale, St. Mother Teresa, St. Catherine of Sienna. 

These women changed the world and made this world a better place. And oh, in case you forget, our Saviour Jesus Christ was conceived by the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary – a woman.  These women  became great by being who they are — utilizing their gifts fully. 

Girl, you have an indispensable ability to make this world better. The greatness is already in you. You only need to discover and hone it. Each one of us has specific purpose, meant to be fulfilled. Your life purpose is like a puzzle piece, the puzzle cannot be complete without that specific single piece. May you find your life purpose that completes the puzzle of this world.

Stop striving to be someone else, to be who you are is the way to be great. You are unrepeatable. There’s no other you. 

You go, girl!  Show the world what you’ve got! Live your adventure, create your own story, make a difference in this world by making a difference to every person you meet. You are not meant to fade unnoticed, you are meant for greatness. Dare to be great. Dare to be you. 

Life in Christ is a great adventure! 

Rooting for you, 

Crystha Shayne 

  PS: If it’s hard for you to accept the “imperfect” part of yourself, please remember that there’s a woman out there who has  a “dolphin laugh” as what her friends call it. Watch my vlogs  (https://www.youtube.com/crysthashayne)  and figure out what do I mean by “dolphin laugh” lol!

You are loved!