“I hope you will find the ONE there”.
“I’m sure he is already waiting for you in that country”
“This is it, I can feel that you will finally meet him there”
Whenever I travel, I never miss hearing any of these lines from families and friends. “Have a safe flight” is always followed by these lines. I’m not gonna lie, it is irritating at some point, but through the years, I have mastered the art of silence and sending the message with a smile.
For a sucker of romantic movies, I cannot blame them. I genuinely appreciate that they just want to witness my love story to unfold. I just hope that they will soon realize that where I am at is part of the story, a chapter where all the exciting plot twists of the protagonist happens. But then again, I can only hope.
If my life is a 90s movie, the protagonist travelled 12 countries, over a hundred cities and experiencing four seasons, I still have not met him yet. This is the part where the movie becomes too dull because the woman SHOULD find the ONE by now. The story has become more dragging and became too dull to follow.
But my life is not a movie, my adventure cannot be contained in a full-length movie – even if it’s trilogy. What is a seemingly dull chapter in the story has become the most exciting part of my journey. It started when I finally decided to STOP WAITING.
After gazillion times of answering the question, “have you found the one”, I realized that I can’t JUST sit and wait for him to come, cause I don’t want him to just sit there and wait for me too.
If you are twenty something or thirty something and still waiting, don’t JUST sit there and wait.
I am not telling you to jump from one relationship to another or go out for a gazillion of dates but don’t live each day JUST waiting for the “one” to come. Here is why:
- Know and love yourself first. A person who knows and loves oneself is capable to know and love the other person. In my travels, I have discovered a lot of things about myself. After 12 countries and over a hundred cities, I have not found the ONE yet. But in those travels, I got to know myself more and loved every inch of what I have discovered. Irrational fears, love language, frustrations in life; I became more aware of these and more, as I go around places, encounter people and experience new things. I am grateful that I am able to fathom my complexities first before meeting the ONE. Knowing yourself should come before dating. By then, you are aware of your tendencies and you are capable to love genuinely – a kind of love that desires for the good of the other.
- Discover your passion and make time to enhance your gifts. What are the things you are passionate about? What are your innate gifts? I believe that each one of us has a power to change the world or at the very least, can change someone’s life. This innate power will be revealed through our giftedness and passion. I cannot pursue my passion if I will just sit on a bench, wondering when should I meet the one. In honing my gifts and pursuing my passion, I will be more equipped and prepared to serve and love God with the man He called and anointed to be my helpmate in fulfilling the mission He entrusted us to do.
- Grow in virtue Don’t just sit, wait and daydream of your wedding day as inspired by every wedding videos in YouTube and Pinterest boards you created. I am challenging you to grow in virtue and be the person the “ONE” deserves. Are you spending too much time on social media? Grow in virtue of temperance. Are you having a hard time managing your finances? Be more prudent in your spending. Are you becoming more impatient to be in a relationship? Be patient with joyful anticipation. Don’t just wait and day dream, do something to be the better person for the one God will bless you with.
- Take the risk, discover the unknown. Is building new friendship not your cup of tea? Challenge yourself to welcome new people in your life. Does travelling by yourself scare you? Challenge yourself to discover a new territory; it can be a city you have not visited yet. Change of career is knocking at your door? Have you been desiring to pursue your passion project? Dare to expand your territory. You will never know what’s meant for you until you take the risk.
I am writing this at some corner of my 12th country and I am certain that I cannot just sit here waiting for the one and deprive myself from meeting people and build new friendship. I cannot just sit here wondering when will he come or is this the place where I should meet him. Living my own adventure and taking new paths are all part of the process. I cannot fully appreciate the ending of the story if I will not savour every page before the final chapter.
So… to the man who God formed to be a suitable partner for me,
I am sorry, I cannot wait for you. You don’t deserve a bride who cannot love you fully ‘cause she cannot love herself wholeheartedly. I am sorry but you cannot find me sitting on a bench, waiting for you to come. If you are the one God called and anointed to be my helpmate, you will meet me as I discover the unknown and expand my territory whichever part of the world that may be. Just how Jacob found Rachel (Gen 29) or how Tobiah met Sarah (Tobit 7-8). I hope you are not just sitting on a bench, waiting for me. I hope you are living your adventure and you are conquering your own share of unknowns. No, I am not expecting you to be perfect as I myself is not perfect, not even close. I just hope and pray that we are both striving to grow and be better each day ‘cause that’s what you and I deserve.
To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, and goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.
– Archbishop Fulton Sheen
PS: After more than 2 years, I haven’t found the one yet but this chapter has never been more exciting! I was led to opportunities I never knew would come. IF you too haven’t found the one yet… SMILE. you are not alone! hahahah! Your story will only get better. God bless on your adventure! 🙂
A Catholic Lay Missionary who travels the world to share her story with God. She believes that life in Christ is a beautiful adventure.